The Wrong Kind of Medicine

Poetry, Writing

It’s the wrong kind of medicine
Misdiagnosed prescription
The pills swallowed whole
Floating in the toilet bowl
The taste reminds me of regrets
Anxiety induced tongue twister
They said I should despise myself
And be afraid of everything
Become a rotten wooden raft
In the middle of nowhere, shaking
I wear the mask of self-fulfilling prophecy
When the storm hits, I allow it
Thanks to my useless education
Hollow advice from cold hearts
I am part of the cause for this tempest
It’s the wrong kind of medicine
Labels injected deep into skin
Slowly turning into a part of me
I am the church of self hatred
Practice my holy beliefs and hate me
Drink from the goblet of expectations
I have many tears to waste
It’s easy for a walking disgrace
That’s what they said in my head
Those voices are always correct
If I was a painting I would be dripping in red
Thoughts like mine always bleed-
The self destructive taste
Cannibalistic way of living
I pray in my own altar in front of the mirror
And break like glass, silently shattering
It’s the wrong kind of medicine
To think of yourself as a burden
Clinging to the victim status
Has never treated anyone

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Forlorn

Poetry, Writing

I’m nothing and everything at once
Thoughts closed inside a box
Day turning into the night
I see, the moon is suspended
In the sky from a tight rope to hold on to
Or to end your life with
I’m always in the middle of everything
An island made of ice, floating to an unplanned route
without a compass- not for an adventure but for some answers
My mind is torn, after all, I’m forlorn

Cigarette Smoke

Poetry, Writing

Thoughts conjured inside my head
The sharp doubts like a failed acupuncture
Scraping the brain cells into pieces
for consumption of strangers
I don’t know why I think and how I’m supposed to
I allow myself to be forced into patterns of self-destruction
A clown bowing down to lick dirty shoes
Face paint ruined- “I laughed too much” –
Will be a good enough excuse
For all I know the end keeps occurring
It throws us off balance
Into the empty pool of darkness
Where I cannot seem to find anyone
And me- I always feel it
How she’s approaching from a distance
The void hissing her teeth
My conjured thoughts will erase me someday
And I will fade like a cigarette smoke into nothingness

Casualty

Poetry, Writing

You gave me wine but it was poison
Some boiling blood inside a cup
I drank it all, every drop
Loved you too much to care
Your eyes were like a light-house
Focused on me, I am your sea
Come drown inside of me

My pulse pounds like an alarm
That I cannot switch off
What have you done to me
I’m a poisoned roaring red sea
Baby and you are my casualty

I have crushed your heart
In my foamy embrace
It leaked too much
Painting my waters in sinister colours
I could not stop
I’m really sorry

Mannequin

Poetry, Writing

I wanted to be someone else
Arms intertwined around my neck
A choker of pearls
Pulling me, a succubus to hell
Tears along with thunder fallen
Engraving scars into my skin
Cleanse me in the new found worry
Mould me into who I should be

I will be your perfect mannequin
Silent exhibit in a locked gallery
Need someone to come and save me
‘Cause I can’t open myself
Without the right key

Unattended Garden

Poetry, Writing

Weeds grow under the waterline
Salt flavoured bitterness inside
Those torn butchered eyes
Veins like a cracked china plate
A tangled river stream crawling
Leaving marks on the skin
Around lines and craters
There’s nothing left to say
Your eyes are flooding
Your mouth is locked
You are an unattended garden
Growing a little too much
Without any control